Waiter! Garcon! Waiter! Yes, yes, come here please.
I believe I ordered the filet mignon. Medium rare. This is not filet mignon. In fact, I am absolutely certain this is not even beef. Or pork, or lamb or chicken or even cleverly disguised tofu.
Please take this back to the kitchen and tell the chef that he should not have quit his job at the prison, because I’m sure his fine cuisine was greatly appreciated there, but in a five star restaurant, this will never do.
The restaurant guide clearly stated that this establishment offered some of the finest cuisine in the city! I must have satisfaction. Waiter! Where are you going? Waiter?!
Very well, you leave me no choice. I will alert the media.